Getting Along with Co-Workers

The workplace brings together people of many different backgrounds, ages, talents, and skills. We all have different values, expectations, and approaches when it comes to work. While it isn’t necessary to hit it off with everyone at work, it is important to get along with co-workers. Otherwise, tensions may arise, which can affect morale and productivity. Getting along with co-workers leads to greater cooperation and stronger teamwork, and it makes everyone’s time at work more enjoyable.
Getting along with those you work with is often a matter of being flexible and willing to compromise. It is also a matter of being tolerant of individual differences and communicating effectively with others. This helps to head off misunderstandings before they occur and encourages people to respect one another for the talents and strengths each brings to the organization.

 

Treat others with respect

Be respectful in all your interactions at work.

• Avoid judging the way other people look or speak. It’s more difficult to get to know people if you make assumptions about them because of their appearance or language skills.

• Be careful of what you say. Never make racial, ethnic, or sexist remarks or jokes. Never joke or talk about sexual orientation. Avoid controversial subjects such as politics or religion that can create tension at work.

• Use basic good manners. Remember to say “please” and “thank you.” Be patient. Peter Drucker, the renowned expert on successful business practices, once observed, “Manners are the lubricating oil of organizations.” He says that manners are a crucial part of what allows us to work effectively with individuals we don’t necessarily like. Never take for granted how much good manners help organizations succeed.

• Look for the positive in others. Everyone has some good qualities. Even if you wouldn’t want to be best friends with a co-worker, you might admire the person’s organizational skills or her way of handling dissatisfied clients. Focus on these good qualities. Stay away from gossip and negativity that can undermine team morale.

• Be willing to compromise. Remember that your way isn’t the only way. People bring different approaches to their work and often there is more than one way to get the job done. Your co-worker may do things differently from you, but that doesn’t mean his way is wrong and yours is right. Be flexible and open to new ways of doing things. Try someone else’s way of completing a task. You may learn new skills, broaden your view, and even find that it makes the job easier. At the very least, you will gain a better understanding of the other person’s approach to work.

• Rethink giving advice. Most people feel protective of their work. Unless an employee specifically asks you for feedback, or it is your role to offer help or suggestions to employees, leave this to your supervisor or team leader.

• Make an effort. Do people take the time to stop by each other’s work areas and say hello when arriving at work? Do you join your colleagues for lunch out, or a walk during break time? Do you participate in organizational events?

• Be aware of religious and cultural differences. Not everyone celebrates the same holidays or eats the same types of foods that you do. Take this into account when planning meetings or gatherings. If you’re unsure about dietary restrictions or an upcoming religious holiday that might conflict with something you’re planning, ask your co-workers. Doing so shows that you respect other people’s beliefs and traditions.

• Be generous with compliments. Everyone likes to be appreciated and noticed for his or her good work. If a co-worker pitched in when you were on a tight deadline, thank him where others can hear. If you noticed that a co-worker handled a tough client with skill, tell him, “Great job!”

• Include others in your plans. You may have good friendships at work and want to socialize with co-workers at lunch or after work. Avoid discussing your social plans in front of people you aren’t including so they don’t feel left out. Broaden your circle and occasionally include other co-workers in your plans for lunch or other activities.

• Be respectful of people’s schedules and workloads. When asking a co-worker to help out with a project or activity, show respect for the person’s workload and time. You might say, “I know your schedule is tight, but I’d really value your input on this committee. You always have such great ideas.”

 

Get to know your co-workers

Making personal connections with people at work is good for teamwork and productivity, and it can mean a lot to your co-workers.

• Make personal connections with people every day. Personal connections don’t have to take a lot of time. Sometimes all it takes is a simple question like “How was your weekend?” or “How did that meeting go this morning?”

• Take an interest in people’s lives outside of work. Learning about people’s families, hobbies, and interests makes working together more enjoyable. Remembering a birthday or congratulating a co-worker on his favourite sports team’s latest win can build good relationships at work.

• Find some common ground. Even if it’s something small, like enjoying the same food for lunch, finding common interests with others gives you something to talk about besides work and helps you get to know one another.

• Find out about people’s work habits and preferences. For example, you might say, “I notice you’re really busy in the morning. Would you prefer that I save questions until after lunch?”

• Learn about people’s jobs. Knowing what your co-workers do in their jobs — especially those who are connected with your work — will help you be more understanding of their needs and more effective in what you do. Understanding what others do also reminds you that you’re all working toward the same goal.

• Ask co-workers for suggestions and feedback. People feel valued when asked for their opinion. You might ask, “Do you think this report needs more information?” or say, “I notice how well you handle customers on the phone. Would you mind giving me some pointers?” Of course, this has to be genuine or your co-workers will know that you are being insincere.

• Offer to help. Check in with co-workers and offer your help when you have some extra time or when someone is having a bad day or seems overloaded or stressed. Reaching out to others can build strong relationships within the team. People are also more likely to help you if you’ve been there for them.

 

Communicate effectively

Good communication improves all relationships, including your relationships at work. You can prevent misunderstandings by communicating frequently and effectively with co-workers.

• Respond to messages promptly. Try not to leave people hanging if they send you a request through email or voice mail. It’s best to clear up matters before the end of the day.
• Be a good listener. Give your full attention to the person who is talking with you. Stop what you’re doing, make eye contact, and don’t fidget or look distracted with other things.

• Wait your turn to speak. Don’t interrupt. Wait for a pause in the conversation, and then take your turn.

• Assume positive intent. If you aren’t sure about something your co-worker is saying, ask for more information by using open-ended questions until you are clear on what he or she needs. Try to start from the assumption that your co-worker is trying to improve the team’s efforts, not make extra work for you.

• Repeat in your own words to clarify what the other person said. Make sure you understood correctly by repeating what you just heard. For example, “So you would like me to order another shipment of supplies today?”

• Discuss important issues face to face rather than through email or voicemail. If you have something important to talk about with a co-worker, schedule time to have the conversation in person if possible.

 

Resolve conflicts

When you have a problem with a co-worker, it’s usually best to deal with it as soon as possible to keep it from turning into an even bigger problem.

• If you are annoyed or upset with a co-worker, talk with her rather than complaining to others. A direct and tactful approach is always best. Talking behind someone’s back makes the situation worse.

• Schedule a time to talk with the person to try to resolve the issue or conflict. Choose a neutral place away from your work area, such as over lunch or in a quiet area during a break. Try to determine some common ground that you both agree on to use as part of the discussion.

• Use neutral language when discussing the issue. When people are angry they tend to use “you” statements such as, “You shouldn’t have done it that way,” or “You always put the files in the wrong place.” These sound accusatory and put people on the defensive. You can talk about the problem without laying blame by using “I” statements. For example, “I have a hard time finding the files when they’re not in alphabetical order.”

• Focus on the issue and how to fix it, rather than the person. Laying blame won’t solve the problem. It will only make the other person feel more defensive.

• Get to the root cause of the problem. If you’re annoyed with your co-worker for missing a deadline, for example, try to find out what happened. You may find that the problem was caused by short staffing or a system failure. When you figure out the real cause of a problem, you may be able to work together to find ways to correct it.

• Give yourself time to cool off whenever you are angry or upset. You don’t want to lose your temper at work. If something is bothering you, take time to gather your thoughts before discussing the issue. You may find it helpful to vent your anger or frustration to a close friend or family member outside of work.

• Apologize promptly if you make a mistake. Sometimes a simple “I’m sorry” can keep a small conflict from turning into a much larger one.

• Seek help if a conflict persists. Sometimes, despite your best efforts, a conflict with a co-worker isn’t easily resolved. If this is the case, speak to someone you trust, such as a supervisor who is familiar with the situation. Or contact your human resources (HR) team or the program that provided this publication for help.

Having good relationships with the people you work with makes it easier to get your job done and improves performance. It also makes everyone’s time at work more enjoyable.